Hiding bottles on the job

 I very nearly got caught out. Such a silly cow I am, I’m going to have to be more careful. I covered my tracks but it was a close encounter of the bloody awful kind, note to self – don’t get lackadaisical or above my station. I’m a cleaner at the end of the day and can be replaced just like that. I adore this job, I love the people and where it’s located, it’s very handy and a stone’s throw from the bus stop. I’m part of the furniture but old furniture can get discarded if it’s knackered.

One of the staff, Beryl, came in super early and nearly clocked me taking a few swigs. There hadn’t been any shindig the previous evening but I’d brought my own mini bottles of fizz, they’re dead cheap from Home Bargains. I’d polished off two and was getting stuck into a third when she came in. I heard her heels so I knew someone was coming. Dead quickly I yanked the bottle from my gob, nearly spilling some over me, oh I’m a mucky cow. Never mind a dinner badge, I was close to getting an ale badge. Anyway, emergency was swerved as I fastened the lid back on and stuffed it into my tabard pocket. Not that she would’ve noticed as she was very distracted by something heavy weighing on her mind, but I made sure I hid it well.

She had a face like thunder but was pleasant, she always is, but I reckon she’s going through something mega, to do with her old fella. Not that I like gossip but if information goes begging, I’m not going to turn it down am I? I could sense she was relieved to see me and we had a nice chat about stuff. All the while I could feel that bottle burning a hole in my pocket. I was careful not to turn around too quick in case it started to clang about. The things we have to do hey. It was lovely to see her but she also interrupted my drinking time which, if I’m brutally honest, I’m peeved at. I had another bottle in my bag but looks like that’ll have to keep.

It's become a habit to have a bit to drink while I clean, it kind of invigorates me and makes me work quicker and gives me a spring in my step. Hard to explain but I look forward to it and it’s part of my routine. Some people have superstitions or do things a certain way, well I like a drink. I’m not harming anybody. I mean, that spring in my step evaporates around 10am and I can get a bit of a headache and feel a bit flat and disappointed, but what can you do? I’ve stocked up on paracetamol and make sure I down loads of water as my throat gets dry and scratchy. Not to mention the acid reflux occasionally bubbling away. It’s my thing I like to do and like I said it doesn’t hurt anyone. I just need to be more mindful of early birds like Beryl wanting to catch the worm.