Living in the Eye of the Storm: My ADHD, Cancer, and the Enduring Power of Optimism
Life is a journey, and sometimes that journey feels more like a white-knuckled whitewater ride. As a woman with ADHD, I've spent a fair share of time navigating the rapids. Recently, the currents got particularly treacherous. After caring for both my parents through dementia, I was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. It would be easy to feel like giving in to the despair, but that's just not who I am.
The ADHD Advantage: When Restlessness Becomes Your Ally
Let's rewind a bit. From a young age, I knew I was different. The constant mental chatter, the boundless energy that made sitting still an act of defiance, the inability to focus on anything for more than a fleeting moment – it was all part of the package. It wasn't until much later in life that I received the official diagnosis: ADHD. Suddenly, everything clicked. My lifelong struggles with organisation, focus, and hyperactivity weren't personal failings, they were symptoms.
But here's the secret most people don't know and what I believe is the gods honest truth: ADHD also comes with a unique set of strengths. The constant curiosity fuels my entrepreneurial spirit. My boundless energy allows me to tackle challenges head-on and push through setbacks. And that creative spark? It helps me find solutions outside the box and approach problems from unexpected angles. ADHD is a part of me, not a burden. It's about harnessing that whirlwind and using it to propel me forward.
The Long Goodbye: Caring for Parents with Dementia
Life wasn't always about chasing opportunities though and revelling in the thrill of the new and the newness. Caring for my parents as they battled dementia was an incredibly challenging experience. The constant demands, the emotional toll of watching them fade away – it pushed me to my limits. But even through the fog of grief and the ever-present worry, my ADHD played a role. My ability to hyper focus helped me navigate complex medical decisions and research treatment options, always searching, always looking! My boundless energy ensured my parents always had someone by their side, someone to advocate for them and make sure their needs were met.
A Curveball Called Cancer
The world seemed to tilt on its axis when the words "rare form of cancer" echoed in the sterile doctor's office. Fear, a primal and unwelcome guest, took root in my gut. But this time, it was laced with a new and particularly bitter flavor – loneliness. COVID-19 restrictions meant the comforting hand of a loved one was absent, replaced by the crinkle of sterile paper gowns and the muffled murmur of masked voices. And especially knowing that Dolly was not there for the first time in my life when I was facing fear without her. The whirlwind in my head wasn't just my usual cascade of thoughts, it was a storm of questions. Cancer, life WTF!!!!. It was a vast and terrifying unknown, a universe of countless unknown places in my head, the not knowing what was going to happen to me but each step of the way was going to be a new set of battles, new set of fears, new set of questions with no answers, all running round and round in my head. Mine was just one tiny speck in this cosmos of illness and cancer, and the treatment plan outlined before me felt like a single, flickering candle in a vast, echoing darkness.
But even in the face of this could of been the biggest challenge in my life to date, a stubborn ember of defiance flickered within me. The shadow of recurrence looms large, a constant reminder of the fragility of life, WOW yes I think about this every day. Yet, I refuse to let it extinguish the fire of my spirit. Every day is a battle, a chance to grow stronger, more determined. With each sunrise, I'm glad I can leap out of bed and walk around my garden with my dogs and take in all the newness of spring, the new shoots of live right there in front of me, growing, just like me!! I choose to live again, not just exist, in the face of the unknown. The journey ahead may be shrouded in uncertainty, but I won't walk it alone. There's a strength that comes from facing adversity, and I'm determined to emerge from this experience not just a survivor, but a warrior, ready to face whatever life throws my way once more!
Coping with the Emotional Rollercoaster: Tools for the ADHD Mind
Cancer. Dementia. These are heavy duty words that I carry as part of my tool bag of life that I carry. It's normal to feel overwhelmed, scared, and angry. For those of us with ADHD, these emotions can feel even more intense. Here are some coping mechanisms I've found helpful on this wild ride I can call my life:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: Don't bottle things up. Talk to your muckers, a friend, a person you meet in the bus queue or even a support group. Expressing your emotions is crucial to processing them. Find an outlet, whether it's journaling, painting, or simply talking it out loud.
- Break it Down: Feeling overwhelmed? Break down large tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. This "to-do list" approach can make daunting challenges feel less intimidating. For example, instead of tackling the mountain of "researching cancer treatment options," break it down into smaller tasks like "researching treatment A," "researching treatment B," and so on.
- Embrace Routine: Structure can be your best friend when your brain feels like it's on a constant loop. Create a daily schedule that incorporates work, rest, and activities you enjoy. Having a set routine can help you stay focused and avoid getting lost in the whirlwind of your thoughts.
- Move Your Body: DANCE!!!! DANCE!!! and DANCE some more!! This is a fantastic way to manage stress and anxiety, both common side effects of difficult life experiences. Find an activity you enjoy, whether it's a brisk walk in nature, a dance class that lets you lose yourself in the music, or a yoga session that helps you find inner peace.
- Celebrate the Victories (Big and Small): Focus on the positive. Did you make it to your doctor's appointment on time? Celebrate! Did you manage to get a good night's sleep despite the worry churning in, amazing!!
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